Is Christmas about family or should it be about relationships?
Yet again it is that time of the year when all of our focus is for that one special day of the year. The presents, the food, the drinks; the atmosphere has to be absolutely perfect. Therefore we create the illusion that all is well between loved ones and friends. We smile and hug each other thinking that this one interaction and connection will be sufficient to erase any or all ill feelings that we may be holding onto.
The problem with this time of the year is that we get swept away with the idea of nostalgic perfection. The media plays an important part to this illusion by subliminally implanting images and ideas of what a perfect Christmas should be. Sometimes it is better to give into such fantasies and fixate on the possibility that all our troubles and worries will disappear or at least they can be minimised, even if just for a few days.
It is far easy to focus on those people that we love and cherish and to dismiss those relations or relationships that require more work. However the relationships that we decide to ignore because we think that they are too much effort, we are deliberately ignoring because of our own feelings of guilt. Guilt associated with our involvement in creating the division or the separation and then not having the courage, confidence or humility to make contact to start a process of resolution or reparation.
Only through genuine and honest communication can we begin to take on board our involvement in creating such familial and personal dramas. To be honest with ourselves is one of the hardest aspects to take on board. However by accepting who we are and why we are who we are, we can begin to repair and resolve issues within our own mind.
This will inevitably have a positive effect on those around us and hopefully help to soothe any rifts within our familial and social circles. Making relationship issues easier to deal with, easing any sense of anxiety, relating to family members and potentially diminish the coping strategies or defence mechanisms that we have created to help us cope with forms of depression, anxiety, anger management etc.
Talk, not only with people you want to talk to but people that you definitely do not want to talk with – that includes yourself.
